Hopes We Have

This holiday season has been very different from past holiday seasons. I didn't think about how much it would up the pace to throw a birthday right in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Zachary must have thought it would be more exciting that way...and I suppose that is one way to put it. ;)

My son is very blessed. I think about this fact often. There are so many people who love him and show him love on a regular basis. I am so thankful for that. However, I hesitate to call it "blessed" because many children don't have that luxury...and I don't think that they have been less "blessed" by God. I think they have been less taken care of by people. God has the same amount of love and blessing for all children. He is with them always and loves them unconditionally. He is also hoping that we will help display it for Him and unfortunately - we fail a lot.

So have you ever been to a birthday party for a 1 year old?..who is an only child?...who is the 1st grandchild on both sides of the family?...who has a large and loving church family?.... well if you haven't let me just tell you it is quite a sight. :) Zachary has enough toys to last him the next 4 years of his life AT LEAST. Fortunately, we didn't do much for Christmas because it seemed unnecessary and overkill. I'm glad we made that decision because he doesn't need ANY more. Haha! He was more than taken care of on his birthday.

My grandmother recently told me that my mom would have my sister and me pack up toys we didn't play with anymore to take to "children who didn't have many toys." I am glad that she did that and glad to hear about it. Zachary will do the same. This conversation made me think about what I hope Zachary will learn from something like that.

We have discussed it often, and if there is one thing that Chris and I hope to see Zachary embrace and understand it is not "our denomination" or a perfect/acceptable appearance, or the ability to have the right answers or make the best decision all the time.....it is the desire and ability to love - and TRULY love everyone he can. The ability to understand how his actions can and do effect others and the desire to show them hope through love and compassion and empathy.

There are many things that we want for our child, but if he understands and displays that - the love of Jesus, the love that Jesus spent his life giving, the essence and hope of God - then I don't care what it looks like, because it will be glorifying his Father and truly making the world a better place.

Chris and I have experienced this love and the impact that sharing this love has on life and the world around us, and it is our deepest desire to pass this on to our children.

Sometimes I am afraid that we will fail.

We aren't perfect. We mess up.We don't do a perfect job of displaying this love 24/7. As much as it stinks every parent gives their child "issues" in some way. :)

BUT we don't have to be perfect. We have grace just like they do. What better way is there to teach your children about the grace of God than to let them see you experience it, right?

Is that fun?? Nope! But it is real and it is essential. If more parents and adults could let go of pride and say "I messed up" or "I was wrong" or "I need to apologize and ask forgiveness" I think it would make a dramatic difference in the lives of our families. I hope to do this. (big aspirations, I know ;) ..I am sure I will have plenty of opportunities!)

Bottom line, I am thankful for the love that my son is surrounded by, and I hope that it changes his life. I hope that it stands out more than the harshness and pain that he will inevitably feel in his life here. I hope that it causes him to ask questions and to really SEE others - and in turn to give them real love.

I can help with that...but I can't make it happen. What a load off to accept that its not fully my responsibility. God is with him and God is love. What more could I ask for?

Hopefully, as we seek to help Zachary understand what it means to love your neighbor...some of it will rub off on us too. ;) We are still learning! ..and always will be.

All in a year

One year ago today this perfect little boy made us a family of 3. :)

While I was pregnant time was dragging on and on...

Then - Zachary was born....and then time just started to FLY and it hasn't stopped since!

This morning when Zachary woke up he was 1 year old. :) We took him downstairs to see his present - his very own basketball hoop and ball (which daddy was as excited about as Zachary was...if not more)!

My Zachary will never be an infant again. It has been so much fun to watch him grow and now he is learning something new each day. This morning he brought Chris a book and said "book" when he handed it to him and then when he finished reading it he said "again". !!! It's so crazy how one day they can't do something and then all the sudden the next day they can. I feel so blessed to be able to watch him grow up each day. It truly is a miracle. I love you Zachary Paul Kauffman!

Happy birthday baby!!

(Sorry, but you will always be my baby!)

I Can Do It Myself...

Zachary has reached a new level of independence lately - quite frankly, I was not expecting it at this point. In some ways, its really cool to see cause he is learning new things almost every day now, but in some ways - it is quite trying...
He will plop himself down on the ground if he doesn't want to walk where we are steering him. He will thrust himself around to keep from being put in his carseat, and he will throw things on the floor if he is mad at us for some reason. Oh - and all of these while SCREAMING.
Now, this attitude doesn't make up a huge part of the day -he is still generally a happy and content baby...or toddler I guess I should say...who even listens when we tell him no. But now all the time anymore, no sir!

Needless to say - he gets picked up and carried when he refuses to walk, he still goes in the carseat no matter how much he thrusts his chest and legs, and he doesn't get toys when he decides he feels like throwing them...no matter how much he screams.
We are learning how to respond as we go because disciplining an 11 month old is different since his understanding of situations and consequences is not extensive, but I don't want to raise a brat so we have to respond - and do so in a way that he can somewhat understand (which at this point seems to be being consistent and hoping he will realize that his behavior is not going to alter the outcome in any way). I am not interested in completely ignoring these things now so that I end up with a 2 or 3 yr old who doesn't know that its not ok and that hes not going to get his way with that behavior. It's annoying to deal with when he is this age, but it would be much more ridiculous if he still thought he could get away with it when he is a year or two older.

Some of these lil outbursts, we realized, were not just out of defiance. For example - Zachary went through a short phase when he would not eat much at meals and was very fussy the whole time. I could tell that he was frustrated about something and trying to express something to me but I didn't know what. I was getting really stressed about it, but we figured out that he wanted to be able to feed himself. For a while, he didnt get any food to his mouth but was perfectly content to hold a spoon that he could try to dip in his food while we fed him with another spoon. Problem solved and no harm done. I just wasn't expecting my baby to be ready to feed himself so soon!!
Now he is able to feed himself things like applesauce and yogurt that stick to a spoon on their own and he actually gets it into his mouth! Is it messy?? OH YES! But it cleans up and he has to learn sometime, even if it is sooner than I expected!

Heres a lil preview.
PS - the way the spoon contorts his face is quite hilarious.

Received this book from booksneeze.com a few weeks ago and it is very cute. Its full of little stories of experiences revolving around the Christmas holiday. The stories are sweet and inspiring and unique and it is going to be a great book to have sitting out through the holiday season. It's a small book with a bright cover so it will be easy to display. It's also going to be a good book to read with our son - the stories are not too long and they are often captivating so I'm sure that reading them as a family around Christmas will be great. Not the most exciting book ever, but definitely worth having around!

My Lil' Pumpkins

Our lil family headed out to the pumpkin patch this morning. Zach was all ready for a good time at the farm with his overalls and what not. ;)
We went on a hayride (that was supposed to be the haunted hayride but Zachary fortunately laughed at all the creepy costumes and signs) that took us to the pumpkin patch. We played around the barn, and we let Zach pick out his own lil pumkin - which he quickly proceeded to try to eat.

We also took lots of pictures. I did a little editing and thought I'd post a few. :)
By the way - I LOVE FALL!

Zachary and Daddy on the hayride

Zachary and Mommy by the barn

I Can't believe he is already walking! He has been taking off this week....

Sorting through the pumpkins - gotta pick the best one of course...

:)



So the pumpkin patch that we went to (at Harmon Tree Farm) was actually a fake one. They just threw a bunch of pumpkins in the middle of a field - and it wasn't really done well cause the field was overgrown and hard to even walk through. BUT - the barn was fun to play around and they also have a petting Zoo and even a huge play area for kids with all kinda fun stuff to run around on, so it was worth it for sure and Zach had a great time on the hayride and our tour guide was great - but it was a bit expensive for 2 adults (zach was free).
Bottom line - we had a lot of fun together, we will definitely go back, we will not partake of the hayride to the fake pumpkin patch but will enjoy the rest of the farm for free, and you should too if you are in the area. :)

The Boy Who Changed The World

So this is the most recent book we received from Booksneeze. (Check it out for free books: www.booksneeze.com) Its a great story, a little too advanced for Zachary at this point but one we will read to him later. It's a lot more detailed and involves a lot more history than I expected, but its cool anyway. Great message behind it on encouraging children to pursue their dreams and abilities. :)

How did this happen??!

This was 4 days ago:

This was 3 days ago:

This was 2 days ago:

This was yesterday:

This is today but will soon be a year from now!:


Some days I find myself sooo tired and worn out and thinking...I can't wait until Zachary can do more on his own. Some days I find myself sooo aware of the fact that he will never be a baby again and I'm so afraid I'm going to miss something. :) I guess I will probably always have both of those kinds of days. I am so fortunate to get to be home with my baby to see him grow each and every day. I swear, one day he can't smile, the next day he smiles; one day he can't roll over, the next day he rolls across the room; one day he can't crawl, the next day you can't catch him....now he is pulling up on everything and standing alone. I'm sure the 1st step will be very soon. So exciting but still kinda sad.
So thankful for digital photography, we have captured so much and I can always look and remember. :)
Squeeze your baby everyday!